I was a very worried child. I was a watchful child . . . I paid attention, and my heart was always a big, open heart, and the world, my parents, my teachers, and the culture didn’t succeed in closing that, for which I am deeply grateful. The places that were closed off were cracked back open by hardship, loss, and grief, and for that I am deeply grateful. - Anne LaMott

I have been a fan of Anne La Mott’s writing for many years. It is her genuine, almost earthiness around everyday feelings of how God is working in and around her. Those experiences, like her writing style, express a relationship with God that is sometimes orderly, and often, messy.

It is those moments when everything feels out of control. Feeling abandoned, I search. Feeling too overwhelmed or blinded by what’s laying on my proverbial “plate” called life; I am twisted and flipped, spun and knocked down. 

Those moments, when it’s not the world or my human being; it is my heart that is broken. Frightened that nothing will reassemble the brokenness. Not a word or action could repair what’s been damaged. God finds me in those instants of unknowing and times of deep sadness. It is here, when I recognize that I am broken inside.

It is in the brokenness, and through those emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical cracks that the light of God breaks through. Interestingly, it’s not that bible picture of a Divine light shining down. It is the Divine light within me that shines out, to expose my body and soul.

It is the Divine love that stimulates my [human] being, and in occasional ways “escapes” for all to see.

Holy One, we are receivers of light and light bearers. In times of uncertainty, when all feels heavy; help us feel your Divine light within and be the reflector to a darkened world. Amen